How to Become a Featured Writer on the Vine

Admit it, you want your little picture up on the front page. When it's there, you take a screenshot as proof. You yearn for it. You don't check the Vine for news, you check the vine for vanity. "Va va voom," you think when you see your mug displayed proudly up front.

And just how do you do that? Simple:

1. Write a Post - It seems so obvious and simple, and it is. You won't get your saucy icon up there seeding other people's work, so get to writing.
2. Write Early, Write Often - Treat the Vine like you would treat a blog, the more often you write the more consistent readership you will obtain, a readership that will hoist you on its shoulders, voting and commenting you to the top. Writing early will embed you into the foundation of the Vine and onto more watch lists, which will give you a headstart on being a noteworthy author around here (which could translate into real cash once advertising is implemented).
3. Write about Newsvine - Oooh, this one is cheap, but also appears to be true. At this point, the community is still stuck on the phenomenon of the Vine as opposed to the content it is serving up. Hopefully soon the Vine as a tool will be so useful, usable, and familiar that its prominence as a topic on its own will fade to the background in favor of the content and dialogue of the community, but until that day exploit the tendency to dissect the Vine and rocket up the charts!
4. Be named Carl Howe - Seriously, has anyone else noticed that this guy is everywhere? Whatever he is doing, do that.
5. Bribery - Send the Newsvine boys a gift certificate to the Olive Garden. It will get them out of the office and when they're there, they're family!

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Am I full of crap? Watch this article to see. With the notable exceptions of items 4 and 5, I'm practicing what I preach here people. Put me on the front page!